A NOTE FROM THE AUTHORS, CLAIRE AND HELEN

You don’t know it yet, but you’re about to launch yourself into the BEST – yep, that’s right, the BEST Notebook 4 Kids on the very serious issues of bullying and teasing. We know that every kid who reads this book will finish with a very full Toolbox to manage the tricky and nasty stuff that happens in Playgrounds.

From Claire: My Granny was my ‘Coach’ as I was growing up. When teasing and bullying happened to and around me, sometimes she would tell me to toughen up and other times she would tell me what to say. “My girlie, the next time that happens, you say…” She sure had masses of great advice – she was part of my teasing and bullying shield! I hope every kid has a Granny, a parent, a Notebook… a hero to help them to learn the Smart Life Skills my Granny taught me. I am eternally grateful to my precious Granny for everything she taught me – about me and about life.

From Helen: Well done to you for reading about these fabulous skills. It means that you won’t be a bullying target – and if you are – you’ll know what to do. Fantastic! We all need to learn how to stick up for ourselves and lots of us adults who were kids ages ago wish that we had learned all of this stuff then. But the great thing is that you’re learning it now – and that means you’re going to be practising it and getting better and better.

Way to go!

Find out more about us here: www.bestprograms4kids.com

Kids’ Notebook: The BEST Playground Toolbox 4 Bullying & Teasing

First Edition July 2015

© Copyright 2015 BEST Programs 4 Kids (All rights reserved)

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the written permission of the authors.

The authors cannot be held responsible for any mishap, injury or damage incurred during the use of or as a result of the information in this book.

Illustrations: Kidzmix Images©
Image preparation: Steven Orange
Authors & Design: Claire Orange & Helen Davidson

Published by BEST Programs 4 Kids

ISBN: 978-0-9943546-6-2

Website: www.bestprograms4kids.com
Email: info@bestprograms4kids.com

CONTENTS

A Note to Parents

A Note to Kids

Chapter 1 - Let’s Talk About Getting Started

The Highway of Life

Navigating this book

Highway Stamps & Tools

Chapter 2 - Let’s Talk About Getting Going

It’s part of life!

Thinking about your thinking

Bullying & Teasing Tools

Park Your Brain Here

Chapter 3 - Let’s Talk About Differences

Teasing and Bullying – Which one?

Important Inside Power-TOOLS

Being a Bully-Magnet

Park Your Brain Here

Chapter 4 - Let’s Talk About Bullying

What sorts of bullying ARE there?

The PIGS choices

The Six Step Stick Up 4 Me… in action

Park Your Brain Here

Chapter 5 - Let’s Talk About You and Bullying

Really nasty bullying

Straight Talk 4 Bullying

Are you a bully?

Park Your Brain Here

Chapter 6 - Let’s Talk About Teasing

Teasing differences

The Triple A’s 4 Teasing

Sillyness and teasing

Park Your Brain Here

Chapter 7 - Let’s Talk About Cyberbullying

The Online Playground

It’s a FOIL

DEALING WITH Cyberbullying

Park Your Brain Here

A Final Note to Kids

We dedicate this Notebook to all the children and adults who have walked the brave path. Those who have been bullied or cruelly teased and who carry the psychological scars.

Bullying and cruel teasing is a sad reality of the world we live in, and we know and believe with all our hearts that developing skills early in life and throughout life is the solution.

Knowledge is power, and we are honoured and privileged to share our combined knowledge as Mums and Therapists with you in this wonderfully warm Notebook.

Claire and Helen

A NOTE TO PARENTS

Congratulations on your wise purchase. You will not be disappointed.

This beautiful book gently explores the complexities of bullying and teasing in a way that will have your child confidently cheering, “Yes, I can do that!” We’ve seen it happen so many times…and we still get Goose Bumps. It’s awesome. Happy, confident kids who know that they’ve got the skills to deal with whatever crops up in their peer world.

What makes The Playground Toolbox stand out from the crowd? Most certainly its practicality - and that motivates kids to try out the strategies. And then their success keeps them going and going, using more and more of the strategies. It literally is ‘The’ Playground Resource – ‘The’ Only One with an extensive range of books for both parents and kids that cover every day – but supremely important – ‘stuff’- that happens in every child’s life. And the stuff in this one, is Bullying and Teasing. Super important stuff.

Thousands of kids have used these skills – and for many it literally has changed their lives (and as we know, that means a pretty big change in a parent’s life too...). These strategies work and they’re easy to learn and remember. They’re fun (lots!), unique and awesome…every single one of them gets better with practise! Kids love them… and we love that kids love them.

When your child reaches the last page, they will have a complete package of TOOLS for managing both themselves and what happens with others – to do with bullying and teasing.

And that’s just the beginning. As your child practises all of those TOOLS with you, your partner, their aunty, big brother, sister, or grandma… your child will have more Playground TOOLS to deal with bullying and teasing than any other kid in their class, school, street, footy team, ballet or gym class…Awesome. They’ll be one socially and emotionally smart kid. And if you are also reading the companion Parents’ Notebook: The Playground Toolbox 4 Beating Bullying & Teasing, you’ll be one socially and emotionally smart parent coach of a socially and emotionally smart kid. In the Parents’ Notebook, all the concepts in the Kids’ Notebook are expanded and also includes some great adult insider knowledge and tips. As a combined resource they’re absolutely unique.

If you’re the proud parent of a younger Primary School aged child, our recommendation is to read the Kids’ Notebook together – at least once. Then your little person can go back and read it on their own again…and again. Really, we’ve had kids tell us they’ve read the book at least 3 times; some do so every term before they go back to school. We’ve also had kids tell us that they take this book to school every day and keep it in their bag, so at lunchtime and recess they can quickly check on something that might help with a problem. More Goose Bumps…

Every Chapter of the Kids’ Notebook explores a new concept and introduces a new TOOL. Although the older Primary School child will be able to navigate through and understand the concepts, it will fast track their progress enormously if you can talk about what they’re reading. Offer to help out with practising the TOOLS – perhaps be a willing ‘role player.’ Yes, we know…all adults hate role play, but if it makes your little person’s skill stick with industrial strength, we just know that you’ll be up for it…

The final chapter, “Let’s Talk about Cyberbullying”, is for those children who are accessing the online social space. It’s another playground really isn’t it? Although the ‘play’ is often far from being playful….more like painful punishment – that’s not permissible. So, all children need these TOOLS in their Toolbox. It’s no longer optional.

We, Claire and Helen – want with all our hearts for this information to have an epidemic-like spread around the world. We want it to enter into the houses of millions of little people around the world – especially those who will then be able to bounce – rather than drag - themselves out of bed. To walk with a spring in their step into the playground and look forward to lunch time thinking, ‘Yes, I can do this, I’ve learned some awesome skills, and I’m one socially and emotionally smart kid!’

More Goose Bumps. Lots. Our Warmest Wishes, Claire and Helen

A NOTE TO KIDS

Welcome to this exciting Notebook - that will become your very best friend by the time you’re finished. It’s full of amazing tips, tricks and simple solutions to beat bullying and tame teasing. We know that the TOOLS in this Notebook really work – to help sort out the normal stuff that happens to all kids.

Being a kid is fun and exciting…. and it can also be tough and difficult. You’re just like every other kid living on our huge planet Earth right now – your life is a mixture of good, great, scary, exciting, horrible and sad - you name it - experiences. That’s normal!

We believe that every single kid should have a Toolbox absolutely bursting with sensational TOOLS that will help them to have a happy and successful life. That’s why we’ve written this book.

We’re going to share powerful TOOLS with you to help you sort out what’s happening – is it bullying or teasing? And then, you’re going to add TOOLS that help you to step right up to managing that bullying or teasing like a Champion! And then we’re going to add even more TOOLS! TOOLS for managing those different emotions we all get - especially the ones that get messy and ugly and scary and a nuisance…Know the ones we mean? Hhmm…

Are you ready to learn all these smart and sizzling TOOLS that will help YOU to be the very best YOU that YOU can be? YOUHOO! Or should that be ‘YAHOO’…Whatever.

Well, hang on for your life, because here we go…. Chapter 1, here we come!

Claire & Helen Yoohoo!

CHAPTER 1

LET’S TALK ABOUT GETTING STARTED

The Highway of Life

Navigating this Book

Highway Stamps and TOOLS

THE HIGHWAY OF LIFE

Did you know that your life is a bit like being on a Highway? Well it is! Because from the moment you’re born, there’s a big journey ahead of you - with so many places to go, things to do and stuff to learn. And the exciting thing is, you never, ever know what’s up ahead on the Highway. Did we just say that’s ‘exciting’; perhaps it should be ‘scary’? Well some people might think that, but it’s not scary - especially when you’ve got the skills to deal with what happens on your Highway.

But right now for you – on your Highway – what’s happening is you’re reading this book. You’ll be finding out some great ideas for the playground and how to manage the tough stuff that happens there, so let’s go! Are you hanging on tight for the ride?

As you’ve been travelling along your Highway, you’ve learned lots of skills: like how to walk, talk, use your manners, make friends, tidy up, clean your teeth, bounce on beds (Ooops) and get along with others….Wow! SO MANY SKILLS – and you can probably think of even more that you’ve learned. What a HERO! And the great thing is that you’ve still got lots and lots more to learn – how exciting!

Learning all those skills is a bit like learning to drive a car – because that takes lots of skills too. Has your Mum or Dad ever said, “Slow down!” Or perhaps they’ve said the opposite - “Hurry up!” Well, sometimes on the Highway we do have to slow down… and sometimes we have to hurry up. You’ve got to do that when you’re learning to drive a car too.

And then you also need to learn how to ‘merge’ – that means joining another traffic lane. That’s a bit like when you ‘merge’ on the playground – try to join in other kids’ games. And then there are times when you have to put the brakes on so you can come to a complete stop. Screeeech!…. See, your life is a lot like being on a Highway.

All Highways have BUMPS along the way – small, medium and big ones. In this book we call teasing a BUMP, and we talk about some very useful strategies that help to get around teasing BUMPS.

Sometimes there’s also a HAZARD – that’s a large, perhaps even enormous BUMP. We think that bullying is one of those - a real HAZARD to watch out for. If you can’t avoid that HAZARD of bullying, then it’s a great idea to have a Toolbox full of TOOLS to help you know how to deal with it.

Everyone - you, me, your Grandma, friends, Mum, Dad, brothers, sisters, teacher, the lady next door and your dog, we all experience BUMPS and HAZARDS on our Highway. It’s normal. BUMPS and HAZARDS on the Highway can mean that it might take longer to get to where you’re going. You might have to find a different road if the one you’re on is flooded. Or you might need to spend some time working on your vehicle if you’ve got a flat tyre.

Any BUMP or HAZARD tells us that we need to slow down, work out what to do - and then how to do it. That usually means finding the best and most helpful TOOL in our TOOLBOX. And then once we’ve got over that BUMP or HAZARD, we can get back on the Highway and keep travelling on our journey.

Here’s an example of a HAZARD in action - with 2 boys called Rick and Aaron.

Rick played handball at recess and lunch every day. He and Aaron were usually King and they had lots of fun. But it’s changed. Lately Aaron has been using mean ‘put downs’. At lunch Aaron seems to purposefully try to get the kids to laugh at Rick, and makes fun of him if he misses the ball. Aaron’s also begun to say that you can only play handball if you’ve been invited – and Rick hasn’t been - so he can’t play. (Ok, so Rick’s hit a bullying HAZARD, hasn’t he?).

What would you do in this situation? What do you think Rick should do?

Rick needs to know what his choices are for dealing with this problem. Then he’ll need the right TOOLS to find the best solution to that problem. Now, how lucky is this? Rick was reading this exact same book while all of this was going on, so he heard about the PIGS bullying choices. Yeah!

The PIGS TOOL gives you 4 choices for dealing with bullying. Rick chose the TOOL called “The Six Step Stick Up 4 Me” which he practised and practised with his guinea pig (no, Rick’s guinea pig isn’t a bully – but he is an awesome kid’s coach).

Then when Rick felt really confident, he used The Six Step Stick Up 4 me with Aaron. And guess what? Rick’s back playing handball. He and Aaron still have some small arguments, but Rick now knows how to deal with it early and that’s stopped it from blowing up again. During Bullying Awareness Week, Rick taught his class how to do The Six Step Stick Up 4 Me and now all of them are champions at doing it too. Go Rick!

You’re going to learn about the PIGS choices too, and In fact, by the end of this book, you’ll have a whole Toolbox bursting to full with beating bullying and taming teasing TOOLS! TOOLS that will help you to stay calm and TOOLS that will help you to sort out bullying and teasing BUMPS and HAZARDS. Way to go!

NAVIGATING THIS BOOK

Have you ever read a map? Or perhaps you’ve seen your Mum or Dad reading one? A map is very useful if you want to get to somewhere without getting lost. This section is your map for how to navigate through this book.

Excellent news! You’ve got the first bit right – you’re reading this part before setting out. Of course, if you’ve read our other Toolbox books you’ll already know how to do this, so you can speed through this section! But remember, books are the only places where – sometimes - you’re allowed to speed. You never speed on real Highways - that’s Rule No 1.

Each Chapter gives you some information and it also teaches you a new TOOL for your Toolbox. Each of the Chapters has a heading like, “Thinking about your Thinking”- which tells you what that section is all about.

We want you to read each Chapter very carefully, and then when it says to “Park your Brain Here”, it means that it’s time to stop, think about what you have learned - AND then practise the TOOLS too!

It’s best to travel carefully with no speeding - because what you’re going to learn is very important – and you’re also going to need to practise, practise and practise. So, take your time.

HIGHWAY STAMPS & TOOLS

In each of The Playground Toolbox series, you’ll see some stamps which have different names – and sometimes just letters – on them. These stamps are to help you to remember the names of all the TOOLS, and other important things in the book.

The stamps remind you to choose a great TOOL out of your Toolbox to use in a particular situation – either to calm yourself down, get back to being a Supa Thinkin Hero, OR to manage what’s happening to you and around you.

Here are the stamps that you’ll see in this book…

The Inside-TOOL of Supa Thinkin – this is positive and helpful thinking that you can do even when times are tough.

The BUMP of Stinkin Thinkin – yes, it’s just like it sounds. That Stinkin stuff we say to ourselves which is not positive, helpful or useful. Boooo…

Here’s one of those Inside -TOOLS: Calming Down. The older you get, the more you’re able to calm yourself down. And right now is a great time to start learning how to do it.

“Don’t ignore me, it’s rude!” Every kid everywhere has heard that sentence. Sometimes for certain types of bullying and teasing, Ignoring is just the TOOL.

FOPL - A Fact Of Playground Life. Stuff happens. Good stuff, bad stuff and ugly stuff. We call it L-I-F-E in the playground. Because FOPL stuff happens.

FOIL – A Fact of Internet Life. Friendships also happen in the Online Playground and that means good, the bad and the ugly can be online too.

The PIGS Choices are certainly not stinky, but they are a very useful way to remember what your choices are if there’s any bullying happening. Snort!

The Triple A’s 4 Teasing. Guess what that one’s for? Yep, good old teasing. You’ll be meeting, greeting and practising these little fellas soon. Have you met them before? They’re popular – very!

Straight Talk 4 Bullying. No mucking around here - straight to the point. Easy when you know how!

Park your Brain – time to think. Brains travel at high speed – even faster than your mouth! So brakes are handy things and you’re going to be putting them on. Screeech…..

Did an adult in your home also get a Playground Toolbox book? If they did – or even if they didn’t - you might like to include them in what you’re reading. You know what we mean. Parents love that.

Talk about what you - and they - are learning as it really helps to share this part of your journey. The adult person in your home might also need your help to understand some of the things that happen on playgrounds. So be kind, help them out if they ask – or perhaps ask them first.

So, you’re ready to set off on the Beating Bullying and Taming Teasing adventure.

See you on the next page!

CHAPTER 2

LET’S TALK ABOUT GETTING GOING

It’s Part of Life

Thinking about your Thinking

Bullying and Teasing TOOLS

Park Your Brain Here

IT’S PART OF LIFE!

Welcome to the Toolbox 4 Bullying & Teasing. We’re glad that you’re here. We’re going to be talking about everything to do with bullying and teasing.

Sadly, being bullied or teased is part of almost everyone’s life at some time as they travel through Primary School and High School. So, it makes sense to have some good strategies and TOOLS on-board to deal with it.

We know that being bullied and teased doesn’t just happen to kids…. It also happens when you’re an adult. So the strategies you will learn in this book are going to last a really long time… like your Easter chocolate….oh wait! Nope, much, much longer than that we hope!

Being bullied or teased doesn’t just happen to you – it might happen to one of your brothers or sisters - or one of your friends. So, being able to figure out whether it is bullying or teasing, and then what to do, turns you into a Playground Hero! We hope you’re ready to learn some cool and interesting things about managing bullying and teasing including:

- Understanding the difference between bullying and teasing.

- Understanding the different types of teasing.

- Accepting that it happens to most people at some time, so you’re not alone.

- Knowing the choices you have to respond to teasing and bullying.

- Knowing how to sort out bullying and teasing.

Before we begin - to help you understand some of the words we’re going to use in the book - read through the next few pages. If you’ve read some of the other Playground Toolbox Notebooks 4 Kids, you might already know most of it, so you can do a quick, whirlwind reminder - and then jump straight into Chapter 3 where the fun really begins!

THINKING ABOUT YOUR THINKING

Here’s something to think about: every human being is born different from each other. We do have some things that are similar – like legs, arms, toes, mouth – but we mostly have different faces. As we grow up, we also have different experiences, and that means we might learn to think differently from someone else – even about exactly the same thing.

Think about this:

Jenny started at a new school half way through Year 2. She had moved from somewhere far away and very different to her new school. At Jenny’s old school, there was a group of ‘the popular girls’ who usually told her to “go away” when they were playing or sitting together. She felt sad, worried and very left out when this happened. Jenny was feeling very nervous about starting at a new school, and she also was worried that she might not make friends.

You see, because Jenny had already experienced being left out and excluded, so she was worrying about whether it would happen again.

Now, if this had been Jenny’s story instead, do you think she would be thinking differently?

Jenny started at a new school half way through Year 2. She had moved from a place which was far away and very different to her new school. At Jenny’s old school, her best friends were in her class. They sat together at lunch and then played in the playground. Jenny felt sad to be leaving her friends, but she was very excited about meeting some new people and making more friendships.

All the hundreds of different things that happen to you, and around you, help to create how you think about your Highway, yourself, and also about other people.

BULLYING & TEASING TOOLS

Did you know that there are two ways you can deal with teasing and bullying? The first is using your Inside-TOOLS and the other is learning and practising some Outside-TOOLS. Here they are:

Inside-TOOLS

These are TOOLS that you control from inside of you. They are part of you – you were born with them! As you grow and learn and practise, these TOOLS get sharper and sharper, which means better and better….and more successful and more successful.

1. Thinking – the first big Inside-TOOL

Some people call this ‘Self-talk’ and other people call it ‘Thinking.’ It’s what you say to yourself about what’s happening to you.

So, if your teacher says, “There’s a maths test on Monday” you might think, ‘Good! I can’t wait to get that over and done with’ or you might think, ‘Nooooo! I hate maths and I’m going to fail.’ Only you know what your Thinking is: no one can hear it, and no one can see it. It’s private.

BUT not all your thinking is the same; there are 2 types:

Supa Thinkin is positive and helpful self-talk. It gets the happy, calm juices flowing in your brain. You knew that just from the word ‘Supa’ didn’t you? You can use Supa Thinkin to help yourself -

like when you don’t really want to do something - or when there’s been a small playground BUMP or HAZARD. That Supa Thinkin might sound like this:

‘It’s not that bad.’ or ‘It’ll be over by tomorrow.’

Stinkin Thinkin is very different; it’s negative and unhelpful self-talk. It can change your feelings and it can also change the way you behave.

Here’s an example of Stinkin Thinkin:

Isaac was waiting for the whistle to blow at the start of the Cross-Country race. He said to himself, ‘I haven’t done enough practise, and I’m probably going to fall over - and then everyone will laugh at me.’ Isaac felt tears in his eyes, so he swallowed hard to try to stop them rolling down his face.

What sort of Thinking was Isaac using?

What do you think might happen if Isaac keeps using Stinkin Thinkin? Yep, you’re right – well done! He’ll probably cry; he might fall over – and he certainly won’t be doing his best – all because of what he is saying to himself. Wow! What you think is so powerful.

When bullying and teasing BUMPS and HAZARDS happen to you, what’s your Thinking? Supa Thinkin or Stinkin Thinkin?

You’re going to be reminded of Supa Thinkin and Stinkin Thinkin all through this book, so how about you put a post-it-note on this page - so you can flick back to it easily if you need to.

2. Calming Down - The second big Inside-TOOL.

Every single person on the planet (and that’s a lot of people…like squillions!) have their own emotional ‘Traffic Lights.’ Are you asking yourself what this means? Good! Keep reading. Well, when your traffic light is green, you’re doing OK. You’re not feeling annoyed or angry, worried or sad; you’re having a good old time. But then perhaps something happens - and you feel an angry feeling creeping up inside of you. Or maybe you begin to feel scared or worried. That’s when the green light has changed to the orange traffic light. It’s a warning signal for you to calm down, to pay attention to what’s around you - to know what you’re doing - and to figure out if you need to do something.

If those feelings grow bigger and bigger, and become difficult to manage, then that’s like the red traffic light – a warning - to STOP! You need to pay attention to big feelings – they always have an important message. Big feelings can change the way you behave, the choices you make - and the way you talk to people - including your family and your friends.

Everybody needs to learn what to notice when their traffic lights change colour. It’s an important INSIDE -TOOL that helps kids and adults look after themselves, to watch out for BUMPS and HAZARDS, and to make good choices and stay safe.

Being able to calm yourself down is a terrific Inside -TOOL and it becomes sharper and sharper the more you practise - and use it.

One of the best ways to calm down is to think about your breathing: slowly in - until your lungs are full - and then slowly out – like you’re blowing a bubble. We call it ‘Bubble Breathing.’ When you bubble-breathe the calm juices start to flow through your brain, and that means your brain can:

- Think more clearly

- Make better choices and

- Slow down your words and make your behaviour safer

Ask your Mum or Dad if they know about bubble-breathing; if they do slow, deep breaths to help them to calm down.

It’s really pretty amazing that each and every one of the billions and billions of people in the world, all have this same Inside - TOOL for calming down. Did you know that? No-one has missed out – how fabulously, fantastically fair is THAT?

Outside-TOOLS

You’re going to learn some awesome Outside-TOOLS that will help you to make choices about how to deal with the not-so-nice playground situations – like bullying and teasing.

You’ll also learn some great TOOLS to step up and manage those situations. They’re called funny names like The PIGS Choices and The Triple A’s – which helps you to remember them when you need them most.

They’re TOOLS that you will use throughout your whole life to deal with all sorts of things. It’s important to learn to use a whole bunch of different TOOLS, especially when it comes to managing the no-so-nice stuff that happens.

For example, you might not know how to Assert yourself when someone does or says something you don’t like. Assert means telling someone very calmly and confidently that you don’t like what’s happening.

It might feel a little bit scary or embarrassing to begin with, but once you practise the TOOL a few times, it becomes easier and easier.

Ready to Roll

You know enough to get going with the rest of the book now. Although we know that you know so much already but there’s so many more things that you can learn and practise too! Yoohoo!

We know that by the time you get to the end of this book, you’re going to be ready to roll.

So let’s get going…. Ready? Set? Roll!

PARK YOUR BRAIN HERE

Here’s something you might not know about your brain.

If a brain thinks something over and over again, it locks into cruise-control, which means it keeps thinking or doing the same thing. Now there’s many good things that your brain does in cruise-control – like knowing how to ride a bike after you’ve practised and practised. Have you thought about how to reach out and grip a pencil today? No! Your brain has done it so many times it’s in cruise-control. Your Stinkin Thinkin can also go into cruise-control. Your Dad says, “Time to get off the computer” and you automatically think, ‘It’s not fair! I only just got on!’

So getting your brain into Supa Thinkin cruise- control means teaching your brain to think in a certain way - over and over again - until it does it as smoothly as slipping down a slide.

How about asking an adult at home if you can write some Supa Thinkin sayings on your bathroom mirror – and then say them every day for a whole week. Here’s some examples:

I can stick up 4 me

I deserve great friends!

Tomorrow is another day

My opinion counts!

I am a happy and successful kid

I am a strong person

CHAPTER 3

LET’S TALK ABOUT DIFFERENCES

Bullying and Teasing – Which one?

Important Inside Power-TOOLS

Being a Bully-magnet

Park Your Brain Here

TEASING AND BULLYING – WHICH ONE?

There’s a BIG difference between being bullied and being teased. It’s kind of like the difference between being chased by a cat or a crocodile! Neither are particularly nice… but a crocodile could do a lot more damage than a cat…..much bigger teeth….great big tail….yikes!.....dangerous. Bullying is like the crocodile!

Teasing happens in families, between brothers and sisters, between friends… it is something that happens a lot. Being teased can sometimes be fun and funny and sometimes it can be annoying, painful and hurtful. We’re going to get to that soon.

Teasing is usually short-lived and it doesn’t have consequences that go on and on. We call it teasing even if it’s very nasty – like bullying - but it stops pretty quickly, and also if the teaser stops when you tell them to.

Bullying is very different. It also may not happen for long, BUT:

- It makes the bully seem more powerful – and that’s what they want.

- It is always meant to be hurtful and nasty.

- It can be physical – to your body, psychological – to your mind and your feelings, and it also happens in cyberspace.

- Bullying can go on and on unless it’s stopped early.

Bullying is a very serious worry for kids in schools all over the world. That’s why there are special days and weeks set aside to teach kids, teachers and parents about how to deal with it – and more importantly, STOP it – because it can do serious damage.

Bullying is something that can happen to you or to one of your friends or someone you know. We always tell kids who are being verbally, physically or cyber bullied to take it seriously!

IT’S A FOPL!

Here’s a new term for you… a ‘FOPL’. It’s a tricky one to say right, so read this carefully.

From now on - in this book - if we think that what we’re describing is a FOPL, you’ll see the FOPL stamp. The BUMP of teasing is a FOPL – a Fact of Playground Life. It just is!

Kids have different shaped bodies, different coloured hair, different accents, different sorts of sandwiches... Someone is always going to find something to tease someone about. It happens. It’s a FOPL.

Sometimes teasing happens in families – and that teasing can be very useful. Yes, you read that right! Useful, helpful teasing. It’s true. Let’s explain. If someone at home teases you – and knows when to stop – you get to practise what to do and say. And if you do get upset, there’s someone at home to say, “Come on, calm down, I’m only teasing” or “Chill out, she was only teasing!” Has this happened to you at home? We definitely think that being gently teased at home DOES help you to be super-duper prepared so you’re ready for it – anywhere.

We call that developing your Resilience. Do you know what that word means? Here’s a fun definition that will help you to understand the word better:

“Resilience is the happy knack of being able to bungee-jump through the pitfalls of life.” Wheeee…

Andrew Fuller, Psychologist.

Here’s an example of someone called Rebecca who had to be resilient when the FOPL of teasing happened to her.

Rebecca has freckles. Lots of freckles. At home her mum calls her ‘Sprinkles’ and says she looks like a beautiful cupcake with sprinkles on the top. Rebecca doesn’t mind that at all! One of her friends heard her Mum calling her Sprinkles and now she’s started calling her Sprinkles too. It was funny at first but now it’s getting a little bit embarrassing. Rebecca’s friend doesn’t mean to hurt her feelings. She thinks it’s funny.

What do you think Rebecca should do? A friend is teasing her and it was funny to begin with but now it’s just embarrassing. You’re going to learn very, very soon exactly how to deal with that sort

of situation!

Sadly, very sadly, bullying is a FOPL too. Yes, it is a Fact of Playground Life that bullying happens to and around most kids at some point in their school life. So it makes sense to learn some fantastic TOOLS to deal with both teasing and bullying doesn’t it? You’re in luck! This book is chock-full of TOOLS to beat bullying and tame teasing.

Do you know that your Mum and your Dad have also met bullies and teasers on their Highways? It’s true. Sometimes adults get teased and bullied too. Maybe we should call that a FOAL – a Fact of Adult Life?

IMPORTANT INSIDE POWER-TOOLS

Inside-TOOLS are what everybody has inside them – you, me, Grandma, your Teacher, Mum, Dad…. and here they are:

- Supa Thinkin – your positive and helpful self-talk.

- Calming down – bringing your emotional Traffic Lights back to green.

- Ignoring – being able to block yourself off, to tune out from what’s happening around you (Supa Thinkin and Calming Down are also fabulous at helping with that).

When we are babies Inside-TOOLS are just teeny-tiny, itsy-bitsy TOOLS. When we are toddlers they go missing altogether – a big FAT ZERO. We’re sure you’ve seen a toddler having a tantrum who just cannot calm down. Uh huh… But as you get older and older, you grow bigger and sharper Inside-TOOLS.

Think about what might happen in your family or in other families when something goes wrong with behaviour. What happens? How do adults usually react?

In lots of families, children are asked to go to a ‘thinking spot’ with lots of bossy instructions to:

- Calm down!

- Think about your behaviour!

Are you seeing the link? Are you? Are you? Has the light gone on… ping? Yes, your Mum or Dad is trying to teach your brain the Inside-TOOLS of Supa Thinkin and Calming Down because they know they work. Clever old Mum and Dad. They’re Champions!

Here’s the secret…. lean in… are you ready? You can use those very same TOOLS when you are being bullied or teased to stop yourself becoming too:

- Sad

- Worried

- Angry

Ok, we’re not telling you to not to be sad about being bullied or teased…or worried… or angry. That would be silly and almost impossible to do. We’re telling you that your Inside-TOOLS can help you to manage those horrible situations better. That’s right – think about this….

If you were to use Stinkin Thinkin and get very, very angry about being bullied, it might end up in one jynormous (believe us that’s BIG…) toddler tantrum. Uggghhh, you’re imagining all that snot and all those tears and all that yelling now aren’t you? Us too!

Here’s an example. It’s almost like a ‘Choose You Own Adventure’ book because the story can go in different directions depending on whether your Inside-TOOLS are used early and successfully. Here we go:

Scenario 1, Beginning 1- There’s no Inside-TOOLS here…

Zac was playing at the park with his friend Zelah. Zelah sat on top of the monkey bars and smiled at Zac as she said, “Ooooohhh, I saw you talking to Zara today. Zac and Zara sitting in a tree…”

Zac was happily digging in the sand. He had been on Green Light calm and happy… right… until…. THAT… moment.

Zac looked down at the sand and said to himself, ‘Zelah’s the meanest friend ever. She’s always teasing me. I’m going to tell my Mum and get her in HUGE trouble.’ When he looked up he had tears in his eyes – and then he saw Zelah’s smile.

Golly did it make him angry! He felt his Traffic Lights change from green to orange to the RED Light STOP very quickly. He was breathing fast, his fists were clenched and he just wanted to push Zelah right off those monkey bars!

STOP! Here’s what could have happened instead…

Scenario 2, Beginning 1- Sharp Inside-TOOLS here…

Zac was playing at the park with his friend Zelah. Zelah was sitting on top of the monkey bars and she smiled at Zac and said, “Oooohhh, I saw you talking to Zara today. Zac and Zara sitting in a tree…” Zac was happily digging in the sand and he looked up at Zelah and thought, ‘She’s very cheeky and she wants me to chase her. Silly Zelah, I’ll get her!’

Zac jumped out of the sand and raced up the monkey bars as fast as he could. He chased Zelah and they laughed and laughed. Zac was a bit irritated that Zelah teased him, but he decided to ignore her silliness and see if she would stop. Zac stayed on Green Light calm and used his Supa Thinkin.

The adventure continues…

Which ending would you choose?

Scenario 1, Ending 1- Still no Inside-TOOLS here

Zac yells at Zelah and tells her that he is NEVER EVER going to play with her again. He storms off home and slams the front door behind him. His Dad looks up and asks what’s wrong. Zac yells, “Nothing” and goes to lie on his bed. He cries and feels very, very miserable. He’s still on Red Light strong emotions and his Stinkin Thinkin is pretty stinky! He’s not calming down and decides he won’t eat dinner… or go to school tomorrow…

Or you can choose this ending…

Scenario 1, Ending 2. Inside-TOOLS are kicking in

Zac climbs a tall tree. He concentrates on his climbing and where his hands and feet are going. Even though Zelah is still laughing and calling out, he pretends that she’s not there and keeps climbing. His breathing slows right down and he does three big bubble breaths when he gets to the top. Zac looks at Zelah and says to himself, ‘She’s just being silly. Nothing to get upset about.’ Zac is able to use his Supa Thinkin, his Calming Down and Ignoring Inside- TOOLS to get back to Green Light calm.

Phew! Go Zac, that a boy!

Or you can choose this ending….

Scenario 1 or 2, Ending 2. Inside and Outside-TOOLS

Zac looks up at Zelah. Before he says anything, he takes a big deep breath and blows it out like he’s blowing a bubble.

He Ignores the smile on Zelah’s face and says to himself, ‘That’s enough now. It’s just not funny anymore!’ He says to Zelah, very calmly and confidently, “It was funny the first time but it’s not funny anymore. Please stop Zelah!” She looks a bit worried at first, and then she says, “OK, Zac. Sorry. I’ll try to remember.” Zac has successfully used an assertive Outside-TOOL.

Way to go Zac!

INSIDE-TOOLS IN ACTION

Your Supa Thinkin, ability to Calm Down and to Ignore something that’s irritating, are VERY powerful power-TOOLS in helping you to beat bullying and tame teasing. No one would choose to be bullied or to be teased – but unless you have a magic wand, it’s very difficult to make it just disappear. Remember, we did say it’s a FOPL.

So the solution is learning to grow and develop and sharpen your Inside-TOOLS - so that you become more and more resilient from the inside! Then you can be like a bungee jumper and bounce back...Ping! - out of the tough stuff that’s a FOPL.

BEING A BULLY-MAGNET

Magnets attract things don’t they? People can be like magnets too. If other kids can see that you get very sad or angry very quickly, they might try to have some ‘fun’ trying to get you to

We know that it’s not really fun – it’s actually mean and horrible - but it is a FOPL. Yep, it’s true, kids will often look for kids that they can tease or bully, and they’ll go back for another go if they get a HUGE, and satisfying reaction.

So, you need to work on sharpening up your Inside-TOOLS to make sure that you’re not a magnet for bullies or teasers. And there’s some VERY good news for you. The rest of this book is packed full of Inside and Outside-TOOLS to help you do this. So keep reading and we’ll see you in the next chapter.

PARK YOUR BRAIN HERE

“Be a duck. Be a sponge.”

What does that mean? Well, it’s a very helpful way to think about the things that happen to you. A very wise lady called Meg told us this story. Here it is for you…

There was a little duck who lived on a very mucky, slimy pond. He had to swim down through all that muck and all that slime to find yummy things to eat. When that little duck popped back up to the surface, is was almost magical how the muck and slime would slip and slide off his feathers leaving him nice and clean. You see, that little duck had an oily shield on his feathers – which meant that the yucky, mucky stuff didn’t stick to him… it just slid off.

Now, there was a little sponge which was used to soak up all sorts of spills. To begin with, the little sponge would magically soak up the spills… until it got full and heavy. Then, when it was lifted up, all of the spills that it had soaked up would slowly drip out from the bottom. Just like tears!

You can choose to be the duck or the sponge too. If you’re the duck, you can swim through the mucky teasing and nasty bullying and the invisible shield of your Inside-TOOLS will help all of that stuff to slip and slide past you. Woosh…!

If you’re like the sponge, you soak up all the mean and nasty things that people do and say….until you also start to get so full and heavy that tears run out your eyes. Splash…! So you choose.

Are you going to be the duck or the sponge?

CHAPTER 4

LET’S TALK ABOUT BULLYING

What Sorts of Bullying are there?

What are the PIGS Choices?

The Six Step Stick Up 4 Me Plan

Park Your Brain Here

This Chapter is all about bullying. What it is, what your choices are - AND what to do about it. There is so much information in this Chapter that it’s bursting at the seams….Pop, pop, ping! So we want you to take it slowly. Read a bit at a time, and then talk to an adult in your house about what you have been learning. So let’s get going…

That word ‘bully’ is used a lot in school playgrounds.

Have you heard kids using it? Have you used it yourself? Remember, it’s a very sad FOPL that bullying happens in every school playground everywhere in the world.

But, you have to be sure that what’s happening really is bullying - so that you know what to do about it straight away. Bullying is a very serious problem. Being sure that what is happening is really bullying - not nasty teasing - helps kids to:

- Stop it blowing up into a massive Highway happening

- Take control early

- Feel calm

- Stay calm - that they can stand up to the bully

Our words are powerful - just like our thoughts - they can change the way we think, feel and behave. So, if you think of a teasing comment as being ‘bullying’ and name it that, you will feel more sad, worried and angry about it than if you had called it ‘teasing.’

WHAT SORTS OF BULLYING ARE THERE?

This is where it starts to get a little bit tricky. We’re going to divide bullying up – and we’re also going to use some big words. Ask an adult for help if you need someone to read or explain the words to you.

Psychological (that’s a big word!) bullying:

Let’s start with psychological bullying. This is the bullying that hurts your feelings, and it can also change the way that you think about yourself.

Psychological bullying can happen face to face and it can also happen online. Yes, online bullying happens in what we call the ‘Online Playground’ – and there aren’t many adults or Duty Teachers patrolling around to help you in this space. We’re going to talk about Cyberbullying in Chapter 7, so head over there if that’s why you’re reading this book.

So, psychological bullying is done with words that are spoken or written down. It’s also shown through a person’s body language. See if you can identify the 3 ways that Harrison is being bullied in this story.

Harrison walked through the school gate. A group of kids from his class were at the bike racks. He saw Cody nudge Alison and then look in his direction. Alison rolled her eyes and said something behind her hand to Cody. Cody laughed and looked over at Harrison again.

The first lesson was music. The teacher asked everyone to sit in a big circle. As Harrison went to sit down, Cody, Alison and 5 other kids all squashed up together so there was nowhere for Harrison to sit. Every time he moved to another space that was open, the kids would squash together and block him.

Are you feeling sorry for Harrison? We are! Did you find at least 3 ways that Harrison was being bullied without anyone using words? What we didn’t tell you, is that this had been happening to Harrison since the beginning of the term – a long time. He had had asked Cody to stop – right at the beginning. Harrison had asked Cody quietly though… very quietly, and not at all confidently. We hope that Harrison is reading this book because he’s going to LOVE The Six Step Stick Up 4 Me TOOL that’s coming up!

Physical Bullying:

If psychological bullying hurts your feelings and changes the way you think about yourself, have you figured out what physical bullying is? Yes, you’re right. This is the stuff that happens to and hurts your body. When physical bullying happens it can also hurt your feelings! Have a look at this:

That’s interesting, isn’t it? Not all physical bullying is intended to harm to your body. Sometimes it’s to make you feel embarrassed and to separate you from your friends. This is what we tell all kids who are being physically bullied or who see it happening. Are you ready?

Tell an adult! Straight away!

Just do it. It’s much, much harder not to lash out when someone has hurt you – so go and get help - straight away!

WHAT ARE THE BULLYING CHOICES?

The best news is, is that YOU have choices in what to do if you’re being bullied. We know that when kids have choices, they always feel like there is something powerful, positive and immediate that they can do. Remember how we talked about being a bully magnet in Chapter 3? Well, having good choices helps you not to be or become a bully magnet. Woohoo! That’s the best news so far!

Have you ever been to a restaurant and the waiter came to your table and offered you choices? By the time you’ve heard the third choice, you’ve already forgotten the first one! Well, that’s why we’ve called the bullying choices ‘PIGS’ – because that’s a word you’ll never forget.

THE PIGS CHOICES

On the next page you will see the four choices that will teach you how to deal with bullying. Can you see the word ‘bystander’? That what you’re called if you see bullying happening. A bystander who sees bullying and…

- Joins in

- Laughs or

- Doesn’t do anything about it…

…is not using their PIGS Choices. Bystanders can be very powerful. That’s because The PIGS Choices can make a very big difference to what happens in any bullying situation.

UNWRAPPING THE PIGS CHOICES

So, a bystander is not the person who is being bullied – it’s the person who sees someone else being bullied. The most important thing to remember in any bullying situation – whether it is you or someone else – is that safety comes first! There’s no point jumping into a fight if you’re going to get hurt - and then not be able to help at all.

If you see bullying happening you can choose what you do. Here’s what you MUST do:

- Stay safe

- Don’t encourage the bullying in any way by laughing, cheering, calling out or pretending it’s fun

And here are some other choices that you have:

- Stick up for the kid who is being bullied

- Tell the bully to stop

- Tell an adult (especially for physical bullying)

- Take the kid away from where the bully is

Have you heard this before: “Just ignore the bullying and it will go away.” You have? Yes, so have we. And here’s what we know – sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t!

You need more TOOLS than just ignoring bullying to make it go away. We don’t like using the word never – but, we are going to use it here…

NEVER ignore physical bullying!

Yes, that’s NEVER with a capital ‘N!’ If someone is physically bullying you, trying to, or is actually, hurting your body, you must tell an adult immediately!

So when is ignoring useful? Well…have you ever lit a campfire? And what happens if you ignore it? Yep, it goes out. It might take a while… but if you ignore it, eventually…poof! it’s out.

Ignoring is a special sort of skill. Some kids think it’s all about this:

BUT, it’s much, much more than that.

Here are some fabulous ways that you can Ignore a bully:

- Sing a song in your head.

- Imagine your favourite holiday spot.

- Remember the last time you had a friend for a sleepover.

- Talk to someone else.

- Use your Calming Down TOOL. That’s right, your Bubble Breathing is a fabulous and fantastic way to ‘zone’ out the bully and not react to their bullying.

- Pretend the bully is an alien and you can’t understand a word they’re saying. It’s all gobble-dy, gobble-dy, blah!

The next time that you’re in class and you need to get on with some work, see if you can practise your Ignoring TOOL. The kids who are chatting and laughing and generally distracting everyone, can be put on Ignore. Let’s see how you go.

Ignoring a bully takes their power away. If you don’t give them any attention, they will often move on or just give up. But it won’t always happen. If the bullying goes on and on - even when you’ve done helpful Ignoring - then it’s time for another one of The PIGS Choices.

Here’s a story about how Harrison used his Ignoring TOOL to deal with bullying. (Do you remember Harrison - who was whispered about and squeezed out of sitting in the group? Excellent!).

Harrison saw Alison whisper behind her hand to Cody, but he ignored them completely and said, “Hi!” to a kid from his soccer team. On the way to class Harrison thought about his camping trip during the holidays. It had been SO funny when Molly fell off the log and into the swamp. Harrison smiled when he thought about that which helped him to ignore the silly whispers coming from Alison and Cody.

‘Music – here we go!’ thought Harrison. He could see Alison and Cody getting ready to squeeze him out of the circle. He took a big deep breath in, and then blew it out slowly - like he was blowing a giant bubble. Feeling much calmer, Harrison sat beside Gemma who was smiling at him.

This one is pretty simple isn’t it? Get help. The most important thing to remember about Getting Help is - do it early. If you have tried some other PIGS Choices and the bullying hasn’t stopped, then Get Help - straight away! Bullying that goes on and on can be very damaging, so ask for help. There are lots of ways that

kids can Get Help, and here’s some:

Tell an adult – your Teacher, Mum, Dad, your Aunty… Being able to talk about bullying is really helpful for discovering solutions.

Tell a friend – sometimes your friends might not know that someone is giving you a really hard time. This doesn’t mean that you say nasty things about the bully, it means telling a friend what’s happening and asking them to help you.

Kids’ Bullying Helplines – do an internet search to find them. These are helpful websites and they have specially trained adults you can talk to about what’s happening. Here’s a story to think about:

Jill walked home from school and a girl from the year above her also went the same way. This girl walked just behind Jill and called her names – awful ones. She also said dreadful things about Jill’s Mum - who was in a wheelchair.

Jill asked her to stop – gently at first - and then very clearly and confidently – but it still kept happening. Jill decided to speak to the Duty Teacher who was in the car park after school. The next day, the older girl was called to the office. After that, she left Jill alone.

The Six Step Stick Up 4 Me… sounds pretty dramatic huh? Here it is:

THE SIX STEP STICK UP 4 ME… IN ACTION

You might think that’s a lot to remember, but it’s really, really easy! This is all about learning how to stick up 4 you!

The BEST Playground Toolbox books are all about Smart Life Skills 4 Kids – that’s right, skills that you can use for the rest of your life – and this is only one of them. Once you’ve learned this skill, teach someone else in your house. Even adults need this skill to deal with things that happen at work or with their friends.

Steps 1, 2 and 3 are about confident body language.

Step 4 is about using a confident tone of voice and the words that you say.

Steps 5 and 6 show you how to be powerful – not a push-over.

Let’s take them step by step. Here’s a sentence for you to say:

“Whispering behind your hand is rude - time to stop!”

Are you ready to have some fun? Yeah! This is like being a movie star, because you’re going to stand up and practise this out aloud. So, ready? In front of a mirror…

Step 1: Stand with your shoulders slumped forwarded.

Step 2: Look down at your toes…

Step 3: Move your arms about while they’re hanging by your sides.

Step 4: Mumble the sentence above.

Step 5: Turn and walk away.

Step 6: Look back and say, “Well, you’re really mean!”

How did that go? Did you look confident? Did you sound confident? Did you walk away feeling confident and powerful? No? Ok, we’re not really surprised…. Let’s try this one. Stand in front of the mirror…

Step 1: Stamp your foot and tense up your shoulders.

Step 2: Glare at yourself in the mirror.

Step 3: Ball up your fists and pump them angrily.

Step 4: Shout the sentence in an angry voice

Step 5: Keep glaring at yourself; in fact move closer and puff up.

Step 6: Look back and say, “I’m going to get you!” How did that go? Did you look angry and ready to….

Being angry, explosive and aggressive doesn’t help to put a bullying fire out – it’s more like throwing loads and loads of dry sticks on it - so that it burns out of control.

So, let’s try it properly. This is why you use the Six Step Stick Up 4 Me - just as it’s written…

Step 1: Two feet on the ground looks strong. Shoulders back looks confident.

Step 2: Sharing eye contact tells someone that you’re not scared - and that you’ll be saying what needs to be said. It’s very powerful! That doesn’t mean glaring or staring at them - just sharing.

Step 3: Arms by your sides stops them from flapping around and making your look scared or angry.

Step 4: Your voice is a big part of your confidence. Try not to tell a big long story – describe what you don’t like in a few words. And say them confidently, strongly and in a loud-enough voice. We know that lots of kids start by saying, “I’m sorry but I don’t like it when…” Try not to use the words, “I’m sorry…” This isn’t an apology for their bad behaviour!

Step 5: When you hold eye contact with someone without saying anything, it can make them feel a little uncomfortable. The person might look away, up at the ceiling or down at their shoes. And that’s quite OK. Because you’re sticking up 4 you!

Step 6: This is the bit that most kids get wrong! If you tell someone that you don’t like their behaviour, they’re going to want to have their say - like, “Who cares what you think?” or “I didn’t do that anyway!” This is a fishing hook…. and it’s got bait on it. Don’t bite! Say nothing. Don’t argue, try to set them straight. Walk away. Have a try right now. How did it feel? It’s pretty good isn’t it, having the last word?

You see, sticking up 4 you is a good thing. If you’re safe, then having a confident body and confident words like “Enough is ENOUGH!” is very, very important. It’s often what stops bullying in its tracks.

Here are the most important points:

- Look confident.

- Sound confident.

- Don’t tell a story. Make it short and snappy.

- Don’t apologise.

- Don’t get hooked on the hook.

Bullying is all about power – taking it away from the person being bullied – and the bully showing their power. The Six Step Stick Up 4 Me is a TOOL that helps you to get back your power.

We did say that this Chapter was going to be bursting with information didn’t we? Have you got it all? Phew…we know it’s a lot to read and think about. The next step is to practise, practise.. and practise some more.

Practise out aloud, in front of the mirror - with Mum, Dad, friends, your hamster, the dog over the fence… The more you practise, the easier and easier it is. We promise!

So, after you’ve practised, we’ll see you at the beginning of the next Chapter. Chow for now.

PARK YOUR BRAIN HERE

Let’s think about the steps for Calming Down. When you’re not feeling calm, your body gets very tight, tense and stressed. Your breathing gets faster and faster, and becomes what we call ‘shallow’ – that means it’s not very deep.

Your brain needs the oxygen that you breathe in to stay alive – and to keep calm. So that means that deep breathing when you’re feeling upset, angry or worried, is one of the most useful things that you can do - straight away - to change how you feel.

Here are some simple steps that work when you’re using your breathing to help with the Inside-TOOL of Calming Down. Try them now - and then practise them 15 times this week.

Step 1:

Be very quiet – no talking.

Step 2:

Focus your eyes on something – even a tiny speck on the wall.

Step 3:

Breathe in, and blow out slowly, like you’re blowing a bubble (remember Bubble Breathing?). But be careful, don’t pop it! Do this 3 times.

Step 4:

Use calm Supa Thinkin. ‘I’m OK. It’s not that bad. Calm down.’

Step 5:

Relax your neck, your shoulders, your arms, and your legs. Make them loose and floppy. REPEAT until you’re feeling calm.

CHAPTER 5

LET’S TALK ABOUT YOU AND BULLYING

Really Nasty Bullying

Straight Talk 4 Bullying

Are you a Bully?

Park Your Brain

REALLY NASTY BULLYING

All bullying is nasty. Some bullying though is sneaky and under-handed and very, very difficult for adults to see. Sometimes that bullying is being done by someone who everybody thinks is an angel. But really, they can be horribly, horribly nasty - when no one is looking. Or, they bully in round-about ways – by spreading rumours or gossiping – and then they pretend that they didn’t do any of those things. Nasty. Very.

Do you know someone who behaves that way? We sure do hope that you don’t. That sort of sneaky, nasty bullying happens in the classroom when kids pass nasty notes about someone - while the teacher isn’t looking. It also happens in the playground – like being ‘frozen out’, ignored, or by rumours being spread. It also happens in chatrooms and games in the Online Playground. We will be getting to all of that in Chapter 7.

Really nasty bullying often seems to have a ‘secret’ or hidden part to it - horrible stuff – like when someone goes to sit with a group, and all them stand up and move somewhere else. That’s nasty! Very. Or someone who tells masses of kids a secret that you told them. Nasty. Very nasty.

Or it can be something like everyone in your group getting an invitation to a party…except you. And the reason they say is that there were only so many kids allowed to go… blah, blah, blah… But you know it’s because you’ve been excluded. It can be being asked to play somewhere at recess - and when you get there, no- one is there. Embarrassing – and hurtful.

The thing about sneaky, nasty bullying is that it’s very difficult to explain to an adult - because you might not be sure that it really did happen. Often the bully has VERY believable excuses when an adult asks them, “So, what happened?” Here’s an example:

Yukiko played with a big group of girls. Lately, however, Elizabeth had become very bossy about who could - and who couldn’t - join in at lunch. “We’re meeting over by the big tree at lunch” Elizabeth told Yukiko when she asked what was happening. But there was no one there when Yukiko arrived. This had happened before and Yukiko felt sad - and also embarrassed. She told the Duty Teacher who called Elizabeth over. Elizabeth smiled at the Duty Teacher and said, “I’m so sorry. We just changed our minds and forgot to tell Yukiko.” As soon as the Duty Teacher’s back was turned, Elizabeth glared at Yukiko and said, “You’re such a tell-tale!”

What would you do if you were Yukiko? Elizabeth is leaving her out on purpose. What you don’t know is that Elizabeth also makes silly faces behind the teacher’s back when Yukiko answers a question. Once the teacher did see and she asked Elizabeth what she was doing. Elizabeth smiled sweetly and said she had something in her eye. The teacher even patted Elizabeth on the back and told her to wash her eye out. Ugghhh!

Are you thinking that a power-TOOL would be useful to sort out sneaky, nasty bullying? Well, you’re exactly right and here it is…

STRAIGHT TALK 4 BULLYING

Straight Talk is the power-TOOL and you’ll be pleased to know that we have many skills like the Six Step Stick Up 4 Me. Straight Talk is exactly how it sounds. It means that you:

- Go straight to the person who is doing the bullying. Not their friend, not one of your friends. Straight to the person themselves.

- You tell the bully directly, clearly and confidently that what they are doing is mean, nasty and horrible.

- You tell the bully to STOP right NOW!

There’s a word for doing this – it’s called being ‘assertive.’ It’s a big word that simply means being strong, confident and getting straight to the point. But remember what have we told you over and over? You only do this if you’re safe! Here are the steps:

Here’s a whole bunch of ways to say something assertively with Straight Talk.

“Stop talking about me behind my back.”

“That’s enough rumours. I KNOW you’re spreading them!”

“Running away at lunch time is very mean. Stop it!”

Passing notes about me - or anyone - is rude. Stop it now!

It’s important to remember that being assertive is NOT:

1. Angry – this often becomes aggressive - which means leaning forward, raising your voice and even threatening or blaming the other person. We know that Angry doesn’t work at all. In fact, the other person usually also becomes angry – perhaps angrier even than you – which spells T R O U B L E. Nothing is solved and people can get hurt.

2. Whiney – this means moaning and wailing, saying, “It’s not fair!” Has your Mum or Dad ever asked you not to whine? That’s for a very good reason: whining is annoying to listen to - and usually nothing is achieved.

3. Drama Llama – yes, you know what we’re talking about. This is when you exaggerate, wave your arms, use a big dramatic voice - and act like you’re in a disaster movie!

Very few people take a Drama Llama seriously – in fact the other person usually does a bit of eye rolling and head shaking while thinking, ‘This is going nowhere.’

Take a break and practise some Straight Talk sentences. Calmly, positively and assertively ask to stop!

ARE YOU A BULLY?

This is a strange question isn’t it? We’ve worked with thousands of kids and sometimes, sadly, one of them will tell us that they are a bully. Usually the conversation goes like this:

When I was little I got bullied. I figured out that kids do what bullies say - even if they don’t want to - because then the bullying stops. It was hard for me to make friends, but it was easier to when I was being a bully. So sometimes I bully kids. It gets a laugh from lots of the kids, and it means that no one is ever going to bully me again.

Did you feel sad reading that? We did. But you see, there’s lots of different reasons why a kid starts to be a bully. And once they start, others expect them to keep being a bully…. and it just goes on, and on.

We know that almost everybody has been nasty to a friend - or somebody they know. Nobody’s perfect. Maybe they told a secret they’d been asked not to, or maybe they told someone they couldn’t play - in a nasty way - at lunch time. That doesn’t mean they’re a nasty person, it just means that sometimes all of us do nasty things.

Bullies aren’t so different to that – they just do it more often and more horribly - and then once they start, it can be difficult to stop. If you feel worried that you might be a bully sometimes, here’s some helpful things that you can do to stop:

- Learn some good friendship skills

- Don’t play if you’re feeling in a grumpy or angry mood and you might take it out on your friends

- Ask your Mum or Dad to help you to practise how you can tell people - in a nice way – that you need a bit of time on your own

- Think of 1 thing that you can do differently when you would normally bully another kid to get your way. You might let someone else go first, or not take the biggest piece of cake. You might say something encouraging like, “Great effort,” instead of a nasty put down

It’s not good enough to say, “Well if I don’t bully them, they’ll bully me.” Every kid in every school everywhere in the world can help to stamp out bullying – and that means their own too! So, if you bully kids, start right now - today – and do things differently.

If you find it hard to make friends, read our Kids’ Notebook: The Best Playground Toolbox 4 Fixing Friendships. You will find heaps and heaps of suggestions for being a better friend, and for sorting out friendship issues in clever and kind ways.

PARK YOUR BRAIN HERE

Think about how other people would describe you. What words would they use?

Make a list below. Think about the awesome things (compliments, praise) - and the not-so awesome things (criticisms, complaints) they might say. Ooooh, that one’s hard isn’t it?

For example, you might be an awesome person to kids when they fall over and need help, but a not-so-awesome person at playing by the rules - without getting very cross - and making people play your way.

Awesome

Not-so Awesome

Now take a green pencil and draw a circle around one of the words in the ‘Awesome’ column.

How can you do - or be - more of that?

Take a red pencil and draw a circle around one of the words in the ‘Not-so-Awesome’ column.

How can you do - or be - less of that?

Chapter 6

LET’S TALK ABOUT TEASING

Teasing Differences

The Triple A’s 4 Teasing

Sillyness and Teasing

Park Your Brain Here

Teasing is a FOPL. It can happen at home, at school – in fact, by kids, adults….anyone. And here’s something that’s very, very interesting. Not all teasing is bad or horrible. In fact, if Mum or Dad teases you at home – just gently - and they know when to stop, they’re helping you to build your resilience. There’s that word again. Do you remember it? It means being able to bounce back from tough stuff - just like a bungee jumper! Ping....

If your Mum or Dad, brother or sister, Aunty or Uncle sometimes teases you - and you can cope with it - and keep smiling, that means you are sharpening your Inside-TOOLS of Supa Thinkin, Calming Down and Ignoring. Woohoo…..We’ve done a happy little dance – have you?

So let’s think about Teasing. We are very sure that at some time, somewhere, someone has teased you. Kids tease other kids about all sorts of things – like getting a new haircut, sitting next to a girl in class, the kind of car your Mum drives, having freckles – you name it! If there’s a kid around, teasing is probably going to happen.

So you can see that not every teasing situation is a catastrophe. Have you heard that word – ‘catastrophe’ – before? It means the same as disaster. And we know that if kids have the TOOLS to figure out what’s happening – and they have answers - they won’t be using Stinkin Thinkin and turning a little bit of teasing into a huge, enormous, gigantic disaster. We call that being resilient. Remember that word ‘resilient’ – the one about ‘bungee jumping’ through the pitfalls of life? So, let’s have a close look at how you can understand what happens in teasing - and know how to deal with it successfully.

We teach kids about the 2 types of teasing: ’Cool’ and ‘Cruel’.

TEASING DIFFERENCES

So we’ve taught you about Cool Teasing and Cruel Teasing. Some kids find it hard to sort out the difference between Cruel Teasing and bullying. It’s a very, very skinny line that runs between them - but it is there – like this:

So let’s start with Cool Teasing. That’s teasing that might be fun, funny or even a little annoying, BUT it’s not a big thing. The teaser is trying to have fun and they don’t want to hurt your feelings, or for you to feel embarrassed.

Now, that doesn’t mean that this sort of teasing won’t go on… and on… and on…. and become less fun, and even become very annoying, because it can, and often does. The important thing to remember is that Cool Teasing is not meant to hurt your feelings – even if it does a little bit.

Cruel Teasing is different. The teaser wants to hurt your feelings and embarrass you; it’s mean and very nasty. The biggest difference between Cruel Teasing and bullying is that Cruel Teasing usually doesn’t go on and on – it happens for a while - but when you tell the teaser to stop, they do.

So this is what you need to do if you are being teased:

- Decide if it’s Cool or Cruel Teasing

- Pull out a TOOL to help you to deal with it

Some A-W-E-S-O-M-E teasing TOOLS are coming up next…

THE TRIPLE A’S 4 TEASING

Here they are again, our fabulous friends The Triple A’s – but this time they are for teasing. These Triple A’s are different from the ones you’ve seen before, so look at them carefully.

Agree with a teaser? Really?

Yes! Absolutely. It’s something that a teaser is not expecting, and that can mean that they stop. Think about it….there’s no fun teasing someone who agrees with you. Nope, that’s no fun at all.

Has this ever happened to you? Someone kept repeating every word that you said? And then you said something silly like, “I LOVE to eat worms every day”… and they stopped - because they were surprised….and probably a little bit confused.

Yes? Well, The Triple ‘A’s Agree is a lot like that! Here are some Agree responses that might make you giggle. They are a super- simple way to respond to Cool Teasing.

“Hey four-eyes. Great glasses.”

“Your lunch looks disgusting.”

“Oooohh, you’re playing soccer with Maarrkk.”

You would Agree with a Cruel Teaser, would you? No way! You need to be very, very strict… and assertive with Cruel Teasers - so that they don’t become bullies.

But did you know that Cool Teasers can be stopped in their tracks by some clever Agreeing? Yep, it’s true.

Have you done this?

Just like in the picture, it’s something you have to practise to get it to flow right off your tongue.

So, go and have a practise right now - and think up some good Agree responses that you could use for Cool Teasing.

Ask a question….What???

Did you see what we did there… we asked a question… Go on – it was a little bit funny… wasn’t it?

Asking a teaser a question is another super-simple way to get them to stop in their tracks. It points out – in a kind way – that the teasing is really very silly, that it’s been going on for a bit and it’s losing its funny-factor.

Here are some ways to ask the teaser a question:

“Hey four-eyes. Great glasses.”

“Your lunch looks disgusting.”

“Oooohh, playing soccer with Maarrkk.”

See, it’s not that hard. You just have to ask the teaser about what they’re teasing you about. You might pretend to be surprised that they have never noticed your glasses…or your freckles… or what your Mum wears.

You can also ask the teaser to explain the words that they’ve used - like ‘disgusting’, or ‘always’ or ‘never’. Asking questions such as, “I always trip over? Really? Every moment of every day?” shows a teaser that what they’re saying is actually pretty silly - and stopping saying it would be one very good idea. Doing that is another clear and very strong way to step up to teasing.

Ask to stop: getting serious

Enough is enough! Cool Teasing can get like that pretty quickly, can’t it? It sure can! Cruel Teasing is like that right from the start.

There are times when you need to get very…

- Confident – in your body language and your words.

- Calm – in your body language and your words.

- Assertive – in the way you clearly ask the teaser to stop.

Remember that very skinny line between Cruel Teasing and bullying? Yes?

Well, confidently, calmly and assertively asking someone to stop teasing is a to stop Cruel Teasing from turning into bullying.

You might want to go back to the Six Step Stick Up 4 Me - to remind yourself what a confident and calm body looks like, and what confident, calm and assertive words sound like.

Here’s some ways you can ask a cruel teaser to stop:

“Hey four-eyes. Great glasses.”

“Your lunch looks disgusting.”

“Ooohh, playing soccer with Maarrkk.”

So, there are 3 very useful ways to deal with Cool Teasing and Cruel Teasing.

Have you memorised the Triple A’s 4 Teasing? What are they?

Dealing with teasing well - and early - stops it turning into bullying. Well done – we love it that you’re learning all of these new TOOLS - and practising them too. Way to go!

SILLYNESS AND TEASING

These two little critters go hand in hand - more often than they should… When kids tease other kids, it can sort of go crazy very, very quickly and - everyone ends up going a little bit silly.

That’s usually when adults get VERY upset and send kids to their rooms or to timeout to calm down. Ever happened to you?

Here’s a little story.

Dannica liked to play gang-ups at lunch time every day. It was fun… but often it became very silly - and kids ended up crying. Dannica didn’t get why those kids became so upset. It was all fun… wasn’t it? Well, one day Dannica went to the field to play gang-ups, and when she arrived, Simon bumped her hat off her head. The other kids started to throw her hat around – even when she jumped up for it, and asked them to stop. Dannica asked them to please give her hat back, but they were having so much silly fun they couldn’t stop. Dannica’s hat finally ended up in the tree, and everyone - except Dannica - thought that was very funny.

You see, the gang-ups game usually means teasing one person by running away with their lunch box, or hat or school bag. Lots of kids join in and it gets sillier and sillier. Often the Duty Teacher sends the kids off the field when it becomes way too silly.

Sillyness and teasing are like sugar and ants - they go together. So if you see teasing getting out of control and becoming very silly, what can you do to help? Here are some simple, super-star suggestions:

- Stop as soon as someone says, “That’s not funny anymore!”

- Use your Calming Down TOOL of Bubble Breathing to help you to step away to get yourself back in control.

- Use your Inside-TOOL of Ignoring. That means taking a break, getting some space, remembering your last holiday, or playing somewhere else…

- Listen to the adults around you. They all have Sillyness- Radars. They will tell you when Sillyness is getting out of control. Listen to them.

Congratulations! You are now one terrific Teasing-Tamer

Yes…you are! So now you need to remember the Triple A’s 4 Teasing - and also don’t forget to watch out for the sugar and ants of teasing and sillyness go-togethers.

Perhaps you could teach your class about all of this? Maybe everyone can make a poster to remind them about how to tame teasing.

Good luck… see you in the next Chapter.

PARK YOUR BRAIN HERE

When difficult things happen in the playground - like teasing or bullying, or being excluded from games, it’s normal for kids to use Stinkin Thinkin…

“It’s not fair! He always picks on me!”

It’s not so much the Stinkin Thinkin that’s unhelpful or awful – it’s how long it could last - and what it might turn into.

Here is what we have learned about Stinkin Thinkin that goes on, and on… and….

- It leads to grumpy moods - and often bad behaviour.

- The more you do it, the harder it is to stop.

- It also causes adults to become grumpy.

- It can become your brain’s cruise control.

So, this is what we suggest: do some Supa Thinkin. Try these:

‘Nothing lasts forever’

‘I know it will be better tomorrow/next week’

‘I know how to stick up for myself’

‘I’m going to use The Triple A’s 4 Teasing’

Use your other fantastic Calming Down Inside-TOOLS. Go for a walk, do something that’s fun, take a big, deep breath and blow it out slowly – like you’re blowing a bubble. Chill out.

CHAPTER 7

LET’S TALK ABOUT CYBERBULLYING

The Online Playground

It’s a FOIL

Managing Cyberbullying

Park Your Brain Here

If you have already read any of the other Toolbox Kids’ Notebooks, you could have learned some of this – but a reminder that all the information about the Online Playground is the same in each book.

That’s why we would LOVE you to read this section very, very carefully - even if you have read some of it before. It’s a great way to remind yourself and to refresh the ‘staying safe online’ behaviours.

THE ONLINE PLAYGROUND

Cyberspace, online, the internet… have you heard these words before? Of course you have: every kid knows about the internet now.

What some kids haven’t figured out though is that the online space is just like a giant school playground – but without a Duty Teacher. So think about it: what would happen at your school at lunchtime and recess if a Duty Teacher wasn’t around?

Perhaps everything might be fine…for a little while…but kids would get hurt, accidents would happen- and things could get pretty crazy. Yikes! Well, all of those same things happen in the

Online Playground.

You have face-to-face friends and also online ones. And you also might have some kids who are only your face-to-face friends - or only online friends.

In the Online Playground, your friends might be friends with other people too – and that might mean that you’re connected to people that you don’t even know a tiny bit.

Lots of friendship issues and bullying behaviours start in the Online Playground. There’s many reasons for that – one of which we’ve said already - there’s no Duty Teachers – unless of course your Mum or Dad is checking over your shoulder.

Lots of kids don’t like their Mum or Dad being part of their Online Playground. That’s a problem – because we know when a parent can be like the Duty Teacher, it helps to keep kids safe.

Can you think of the other BIG reason that bullying can happen in the Online Playground? Think right back to the beginning of this book when we told you about everything that makes up communication. This is what the scientists tell us:

HOW YOU COMMUNICATE

That’s pretty amazing isn’t it? Only 15% of what we communicate is because of our words. 55% (the biggest piece of the pie) is from our body language, and 30% is made up by the tone of our voice. Wow!

Think about how you communicate in the Online Playground. It’s all typed words and emoticons isn’t it? Even if you are talking to someone while you’re playing a game, you can’t see their face or their body to help you to make sense of their words. So you’re really only getting 15% - a tiny bit - of the actual message! No surprise that things often go wrong in the Online Playground.

The other BIG reason why bullying happens in the Online Playground is that kids aren’t face-to-face. It’s like telling rumours or gossiping: they’re not saying it straight to the other person – and that means they feel protected.

When kids continually type mean things about you - or about other people - it’s a VERY good idea to take a screen shot and show your Mum or Dad. That’s a useful way to stop nasty Online Playground behaviour, and so if you’re not sure how to do a screen shot, ask someone to show you so that you’ll be ready.

Kids tell us that they’re scared to show their Mum or Dad what’s happening in the Online Playground - in case they’re not allowed to play there again. But it’s VERY important to ask an adult to help you if you’ve used your Straight Talk 4 Bullying and those nasty things still keep happening. Asking an adult to help can solve problems straight away, because they have lots of helpful strategies for the Online Playground.

We’re also going to discover ways that you can deal with stuff like cyberbullying issues – so keep reading.

IT’S A FOIL

You know about a FOPL, so now we’re going to add a FOIL: a Fact of Internet Life. A FOIL is what happens in the Online Playground: the good, the bad and the ugly stuff. And it's just a Fact of Online Life that cyberbullying could happen to you in that space and that simply means remembering The PIGS Choices so you can deal with it.

NASTY ONLINE STUFF

Cyberbullying is very, very serious. In fact, it is SO serious that there are special Police Officers who are trained to investigate it.

Let’s think about the factors that lead to cyberbullying,

Your ‘Digital Footprint’ describes how every one of us leaves a trail on the internet. Think about this. If you walk along the beach treading very gently and very lightly, it’s harder to see your footprints than if you had stamped your way along the shore with big, heavy steps. Well, it’s the same in the Online Playground. Putting pictures of yourself online, talking about other people, your teachers or your parents, leaves a BIG STAMPY footprint.

When you play in the Online Playground, you don’t always see all the people who can see you. They’re out there – just not where you can see them. So, if you say something about someone - who’s not online – but their friend is - that means they’ll be able to read what you’ve said.

Can you see how cyberbullying happens so easily? So remember to tread very, very gently in the Online Playground. Here’s some things for you to think about and remember…

Don’t be fooled – because you can’t see everyone who is connected to your friends, it doesn’t mean they’re not there. If you wouldn’t say something to someone’s face, then don’t say it in the Online Playground. Lots of kids could be reading what you’ve written – and they might tell others.

Keep a record – take a screen shot or a photo of your screen with your phone or i-Pod. If you are being cyberbullied, the very, very best thing that you can do is to make sure you keep the evidence - so that an adult can help you to sort it out. And taking photos does that.

Take a break - you might get worried that you’ll miss out on the conversation, a joke or the start of a game. When Online nastiness happens, Calming Down usually means getting up, walking away, doing some Bubble Breathing or doing something else for a while. Outside is a great place to have some space from the Online Playground.

DEALING WITH CYBERBULLYING

Your PIGS Choices are the same in the Online Playground.

Protection by Bystander – remember – this is only if you’re safe. If you read someone being bullied in the Online Playground you can stick up for them. You can either:

- Assertively ask the cyberbully or cyberbullies to stop or

- Take a screen shot to show an adult

Ignore – you can take your chat somewhere else, create a smaller group and simply not respond to the cyberbully. In the Online Playground you have an awesome, awesome way to ignore people – you can BLOCK them from communicating with you. That’s like a huge and enormous power-wand, so use it if you need to. Not everybody deserves your time in the Online Playground.

Get help – ask your Mum or Dad, an older brother or sister or your teacher to read what’s coming up – or listen in to any nasty conversations. Cyberbullying is very difficult for kids to manage because heaps and heaps and HEAPS of kids can get involved very quickly. It's very different to the bullying that happens in school playgrounds.

Most chat sites and online games will have a ‘Moderator’ – someone who is looking at all the communication and making sure that it’s safe. You can always notify that person about any cyberbullying that’s happening.

Adults have many resources to help children to stamp out cyberbullying, so make sure you get help from and adult if it happens to you.

Straight Talk 4 Cyberbullying – this is like The Six Step Stick Up 4 Me – but remember, you don’t have body language to help you out. So get it straight – as soon as cyberbullying happens, say clearly, confidently and assertively that it … right now.

It’s very important that you use your Straight Talk in a way that doesn’t leave a huge, stampy digital footprint. ‘Personal Message’ (PM) the person involved, and ask them assertively to stop. Try not to do it in a big group – where other people can get involved. The earlier you get onto managing their behaviour, the better chance that it will stop.

Remember, Straight Talk – even in the Online Playground has to be straight to the point – not a big, long, moaning or angry story.

The most important bits…

- Act early if you are cyberbullied or you see someone else being cyberbullied.

- Adults at school or in your home are great people to talk to about cyberbullying.

- You have choices in how to deal with cyberbullying.

- Your safety ALWAYS comes first.

- Strong and assertive words help you to stamp out cyberbullying. Say, “Stop it.” Or “That’s enough.” Or “I’m going to get an adult involved.”

- Take a screen shot – if you don’t know how, ask a teacher at your school who knows about computers. It’s your very best way of keeping a record of what’s happened.

- Take a break. Kids get caught up in the Online Playground.

- Go for a run, play with your dog, talk to your brother, bounce a ball, tidy your bedroom… Oh, that was a silly suggestion wasn’t it?

PARK YOUR BRAIN HERE

The Online Playground can be a very difficult place for kids to make and keep friendships. The school playground is there before school, after school and during recess and lunch. Then you get to have a break from it when you go home.

The Online Playground is there ALL the time, and it has loads and loads of kids and adults playing in it.

Just as in the school or park playground you never would talk to a stranger, well, it’s the same in the Online Playground. But there is one important difference. In the Online Playground kids are often chatting - even when they’re playing games – and perhaps some of the people they’re chatting to are strangers. You need to be very, very careful that you are chatting only to your friends – not to strangers - and that you only add your friends on your chat sites.

Cyberbullying happens between friends - but mainly between friends of friends. Does that make sense? Well, because those kids only know you through their friends, they’re not as worried about hurting your feelings.

It's also a FOIL that kids join in with other kids in the Online Playground – because they can’t see how much they’re hurting someone’s feelings – so they don’t get the message to stop.

So be a HERO in the Online Playground. Think carefully about your own words and tell kids early to stop when Cyberbullying happens.

You made it to the Playground HERO Finish Line!

Well done for getting all the way to the end and learning about, practising and using all the teasing and bullying TOOLS.

We know that the TOOLS you’ve learned will be useful throughout your life. That’s a bunch of awesome bullying and teasing TOOLS that will last for ever!

Remember to use your PIGS Choices for bullying, tease out your teasing problems, and if you also sometimes play in the Online Playground, do it there also.

We might even see you again in our other Playground, Classroom and Emotional Toolbox books. They’re called:

- The Best Playground Toolbox 4 Fixing Friendships

- The Best Classroom Toolbox 4 Always Getting Things Done

- The Best Emotional Toolbox 4 Resiliently Managing Me

That’s it from us, so bye and good luck, and….

In the famous words of Dr Seuss, “You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”

See you next time!

MORE BOOKS BY HELEN & CLAIRE

For Educators and Allied Health Professionals

The HIGHWAY HEROES Series

Module 1 -

Sticking Up 4 Me: Beating Bullying & Taming Teasing (Year 1-3 & Year 4-6)

Module 2 -

Connecting 4 Friendships: Playground Resilience & Wisdom (Year 1-3 & Year 4-6)

Module 3 -

Tricks 4 Always Getting Things Done: The Secrets of Staying-power & Grit (Year 1-3 & Year 4-6)

Module 4 -

Strategies 4 Managing Me: Mood Management & Resilience (Year 1-3 & Year 4-6)

A FINAL NOTE TO KIDS

Bullying and Cruel Teasing is a very important issue. It is something that you need to take seriously, whether it happens at school, somewhere you go after-school or online.

Your Teacher, School, Mum, Dad… most adults can help children who are being bullied. Children who are too scared to tell an adult can meet all sorts of problems. Sometimes children don’t ask for help for different reasons and by the time they do, the bullying problem is pretty huge and can feel scary and out-of- control. Asking for help early is very, very important for keeping precious you safe.

There are also lots and lots of places that you can visit online that help children who are being bullied. These are useful words to help you to search for those services:

- Help with bullying

- Bullying helpline

- Dealing with bullying

All over the world, an online search using those words will list different websites that you can visit for information and counselling.

We want every single kid to know how to protect themselves from being bullied – and yes, that includes you. So make sure you hang onto this little Notebook – and ask for help too.

Bullying is not OK – not ever. You don’t have to put up with being bullied, so please don’t.

Good luck. Take great care and we’ll see you next time.

Claire & Helen.

THE BEST TOOLBOX SERIES 4 KIDS & PARENTS

This series is growing…and growing, and we know these Notebooks will give you the answers to lots of tricky problems that all kids have to deal with.

The BEST Kids’ & Parents’ Notebooks 4 Beating Bullying & Teasing help kids and parents to understand the bullying and teasing difference, sort Cool from Cruel Teasing, identify the different sorts of bullying and then deal successfully with all of them using awesome Inside and Outside TOOLS.

The BEST Kids’ & Parents’ Notebooks 4 Fixing Friendships help kids and parents to understand the complexities of friendships during the Primary School years. Girls and boys experience a few similar, and lots of very different, friendship issues. Find out more, but most importantly how to manage the inevitable Friendship Flare Ups and SO much more.

Coming soon in this series:

The BEST Classroom Toolbox 4 Always Getting Things Done – Super-simple TOOLS 4 motivation, goal-planning, persistence and organisation.

The BEST Emotional Toolbox 4 Resiliently Managing Me – Moods, blow outs, big emotions… Learn TOOLS to successfully manage them all.